WARNING LABELS

Don't you think it's time that warning messages be added to our "news" programs,

like they are for drug commercials?

If you suffer a persistent craving for objectivity, context, facts, open-mindedness, actionable intelligence, or strategic vision, Faux News may be the answer for you.

With regular doses, Faux News users report significant reductions in these symptoms.

Consult your conscience before

beginning a regimen of Faux News. Common side-effects include elevated blood-pressure, nausea, constipation and vomiting.

Don't use Faux News if you are allergic

to B. S.

I impatiently await the second coming of Walter Cronkite.